So, your student received their acceptance letter, committed to the University of Iowa, and they are now preparing to start their first year on campus. Congratulations! This is a big moment for your Hawkeye, marking an achievement that you both should be proud of. With this milestone comes a period of transition for your relationship, and this change might raise some questions for how you can help them adjust to college living.
I was a freshman at the University of Iowa just three short years ago. Looking back, I am astounded to think about how much confidence I have gained since then as a student, a professional, and an adult. Here are my five tips for how you, as the family of an incoming student, can best support their path to success.
Set your student up for success
I have always considered myself to be an independent person, but the summer before my freshman year at the University of Iowa, the transition to college became very real, and I was intimidated: this would be my first time living by myself in a new state where I knew very few people and would be hours away from my family. In-between the bustle of attending orientation, packing my dorm supplies, finding a roommate, and picking my classes, my family and I decided to have a conversation about what this transition would look like for each of us. During this check-in, I voiced any questions I had for my parents, and they had the chance to go over any expectations they had for me.
When all my stuff was packed up in the car and my anxiety was probably written all over my face, I remember my mom telling me how excited she was for me. She encouraged me to take every opportunity in college. “Try new clubs. Take classes you’re interested in. Talk to new people. You choose what you make of your freshman year.” Her words empowered me to embrace the college experience to its full potential.
Sitting down with your student before they leave for school and having a conversation acknowledging the transition is a great way to let them know that, even though your relationship is changing, you are there to support their success. This conversation also gives you both a chance to discuss the many new factors that come with college living: financial responsibility, self-care, dorm living, and time management, to name a few. Take it from a student who has experienced freshman year in Iowa firsthand, it’s completely normal for both you and your student to feel a wide range of emotions, and keeping the lines of communication open is a meaningful way to support them as they begin this new chapter.
To call or not to call
This is the age-old question—or, more specifically, a question my mom admits she asked quite frequently during my first semester. It can be a tricky line to walk, wondering if you should check in on your student, or if they might need some space.
For me, the first few weeks of freshman year were a whirlwind of new classes, places, and faces. I spent that time learning to balance my course work with friends and extracurricular activities. I thought about calling my family, but didn’t want to miss out on any campus events, and questioned if it would be a convenient time for them. To solve the phone-tag problem, my mom and I agreed that we would call every Tuesday. This weekly call helped my adjustment to college life by giving me the set time I needed to stay connected with my family and voice any homesickness I might be feeling.
When it comes to deciding how and when to contact your student, my advice is to allow them privacy and space, but make it clear that you are available for them. These changes might look different for every family; some students might prefer a quick chat while others would rather check in through text. Be open and flexible to what your student needs.
When your student is ready to talk to you, they often will be looking for someone to listen, whether to share the excitement of a new experience or to vent about a problem. Ultimately, you can best offer your support while fostering their independence by simply reminding them that you are always a call away.
Building independence
After being heavily involved in your student’s life for so long, your instinct might be to continue offering your opinion. I’m here to remind you that, upon transitioning to college, your student needs to be making some decisions on their own. One thing I appreciated during my freshman year was that my parents never told me what I “should” do. They didn’t expect me to continue activities just because I had done them in high school, and stayed open-minded when discussing my major and future plans. They demonstrated trust in me and understood I was making choices that aligned with my goals and passions.
Because my parents encouraged me rather than trying to influence my decisions, I felt more comfortable turning to them for support. They didn’t pressure me about finding a friend group or choosing specific classes, and that freedom gave me space to grow. I’m sure my mom worried about me, but instead of checking in constantly, she gave me the opportunity to navigate things on my own, which helped me build my independence.
My advice: embrace the fact that change can happen gradually or quickly for your student, and either way, it’s completely normal. Be open to conversations with your student, listen without judgment, and encourage them to seek help if they’re struggling academically, emotionally, or socially.
Campus resources
When it comes to seeking help, I wish I had taken more advantage of campus resources during my freshman year. With so many options available, it can feel overwhelming at first, but encouraging your student to get familiar with what’s offered can make a big difference in their college experience.
Some of my favorite resources include the Pomerantz Career Center, which offers résumé reviews, mock interviews, and career advising. I personally used those services when applying for campus jobs as a freshman. When I wanted to get more involved in the community, I booked a volunteering appointment with the Office of Leadership and Engagement, which helped connect me with local service opportunities.
Some other notable resources include the University Counseling Service (UCS) which provides a range of mental health support options for currently enrolled University of Iowa students. For academic support, the Supplemental Instruction (SI) program offers free, peer-led study sessions for historically challenging courses, and Writing Center consultants can work with students with any kind of writing project, from course papers to personal statements.
These are just a few of the many resources available to help students succeed, both inside and outside the classroom. Remind your student that they don’t have to figure everything out on their own. If they’re feeling stuck, mentally, academically, or socially, there are dedicated programs and people here to support them.
Coming home
When your student returns home, it is important to keep in mind that things might feel a little different for you both. After your Hawkeye has lived independently, readjusting to life at home can take some time, for everyone involved.
I remember coming home for my first winter break and feeling exhausted. I was glad to have a break from classes, but it felt strange sleeping in my childhood room and suddenly being around my family after getting used to living on my own. I was looking forward to resting and recharging, while my mom was excited to see me and jump into all our usual holiday traditions. I made sure to let her know that I was still up for our favorite activities, but I also needed time to decompress. Together, we figured out which traditions we wanted to prioritize while also setting aside time for me to just relax.
Every student will react different to returning home, so my advice is to keep communication open when finding ways to reconnect and figuring out what your student needs from you. Likewise, be clear about what you need from them, whether it's resetting exceptions around curfew, car sharing, or pitching in with chores. And don’t forget to take care of yourself too! While I’m sure your student will appreciate you making their favorite meals or doing things for them, they also need to know that you’ve been through a transition as well, and things may be different.
I hope you find this advice from a current Iowa student helpful as you take on your student’s transition to college. My last piece of advice is to embrace every moment: every call with your student, every football game, and every Iowa tradition! I have loved my time at Iowa, and I wish you and your incoming student the best in their college journey here. Go Hawks!